lonely depressed woman.
Bad Experiences

How Dind My First Heroin Relapse Happen?

2020-05-07

I’ll give you a brief summary of how I became a heroin addict, went into rehab, relapsed, and went back into recovery.

I was living the dream of college life. Top grades, active social life, and all that stuff, and then I met Brian. He was a transfer student to my class, and within a few weeks, we got really close. Someway, somehow, he got me to try a couple of things from alcohol and cigarettes to marijuana. My journey into heroin addiction started after I lost someone close to me, and I ran to Brian for succor. All I wanted was to smoke to get high and escape the pain. He taught me how to snort the drug, and within a few minutes after snorting powder, my problems vanished, and I could feel the world at my feet. The euphoria was like nothing I had felt before.

Often, people get confused about what type of drug heroin is. Heroin is a type of drug that increases the levels of dopamine — a feel-good chemical in the brain for a feeling of euphoria and pain relief. Just as is the case with other drugs that people use to get high, it is easy for the body to get addicted to heroin quickly. Soon enough, I couldn’t do without it.

I’ve read that it is easy to get heroin brain damage or, in extreme cases, death when heroin is taken in large quantities because it can impair breathing or stop the flow of oxygen to the brain. It’s made me realize how lucky I’ve been because I regularly went on benders back then, trying different ways of ingesting the substance. It didn’t matter what the color of the powder was – pure white, and grey rose, brown – I did everything, depending on what was supplied.

My addiction to heroin grew over the months as I partied with other friends that I got to know through Brian. Though I managed to go undetected for some time, my performances in college soon declined. Also, I failed a drug test at a professional trial for tennis after my hands began to shake when the withdrawal effects of the drug started to show. It blew my cover to the school and invariably to my parent. I have to say, though heroin addiction recovery rate typically takes a long time (it is a lifelong battle for some), the story for each heroin addict’s recovery rate is different. Anyway, I was taken to an outpatient rehab center, and I was gradually started to recover.

It was the most trying time of my life. I tried getting used to my new life – I really did. But I missed the high terribly, and I couldn’t shake the fact that one dose could get me that feel-good state back. That singular thought led to my heroin relapse. To kill my boredom and get myself back to what had become my “normal” self, I started relapsing. With the drug relapse, it was a bit easier to suppress my inhibitions, especially at social activities. My heroin relapse climbed to new levels when I got back with Brian and my other addict friends while trying to rediscover my social life. I found myself wanting to be accepted by anybody, just to get away from the stigma that had become associated with me and my addiction history. I think my case – to some extent – answers the question, “why do people relapse?”

I started partying again with Brian, our other friends, and even new friends who used drugs too. I became agitated at the tiniest bit of aggravation, and I often lost control of my temper. A lot of times, I would lie just to escape my home to attend a party. I skipped most of my scheduled therapy sessions, classes, and tennis training. I realized that I was exhibiting signs of heroin relapse, but I just didn’t care much about it anymore. My heroin relapse signs continued to grow until my parents found out again. I was taken back to the rehab center, but this time I was registered as an inpatient so they could keep an eye on me at all times. Honestly, my opiate withdrawal after relapse was agonizing and painful – twice as much as the initial process of detox in my first time at rehab was. But it’s like I always say – there’s no easy way out, but it’s something that has to be done and believe me, it’s all worth it in the end.